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San Diego members of TCF have submitted these thoughts that were meaningful or helpful to them. They are in no particular order, and you are welcome to add your own.

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How long will the pain last?

             by Ginny Brancato (Fificat)

"How long will the pain last?" a broken hearted mourner asked me.

"All the rest of your Life." I have to answer truthfully. We never quite forget. No matter how many years pass, we remember. The loss of a loved one is like a major operation. Part of us is removed, and we have a scar for the rest of our lives. As the years go by, we manage.

There are things to do, people to care for, tasks that call for full attention. But the pain is still there, not far below the surface. We see a face that looks familiar, hear a voice that echoes, see a photograph in someone's album, see a landscape that once we saw together, and it seems as though a knife were in the wound again. But not so painfully. And mixed with joy, too. Because remembering a happy time is not all sorrow, it brings back happiness with it.

How long will the pain last?

All the rest of your life. But the thing to remember is that not only will the pain will last, but the blessed memories as well. Tears are proof of life. The more love, the more tears. If this be true, then how could we ever ask that the pain cease altogether. For then the memory of love would go with it.

The pain of grief is the price we pay for love.

 

Comments would be appreciated by the author, Ginny Brancato (Fificat)

 

 

This Child of Mine
by: Edgar A. Guest,
Source Unknown (From Inspirationastories.com)
 

"I'll lend you for a little while
A child of mine," God said,
"For you to have the while he lives,
And mourn for when he's dead.

It may be six or seven years
Or twenty-two or three;
But will you 'till I call him back
Take care of him for me?

He'll bring his charms to gladden you
And, should his stay be brief,
You'll have his lovely memories
As a solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay,
Since all from earth return;
But there are lessons taught below
I want this child to learn.

I've looked the whole world over
In search for teachers true;
And from the throngs that crowd life's land,
I have chosen you.

Now, will you give him all your love
Nor think the labor vain?
Nor hate me when I come to take
This lent child back again?"

I fancied that I heard them say:
"Dear Lord, Thy will be done.
For all the joys Thy child will bring
The risk of grief we'll run.

We'll shower him with tenderness,
We'll love him while we may.
And for the happiness we've known
Forever grateful stay.

But should Thy angel call for him
Much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes
And try to understand."
 

"Our grief always brings a gift.  It's the gift of greater sensitivity and compassion for others.  We learn to rise above our own grief by reaching out and lessening the grief of others."

-Dr. Robert Schuller

 

Gently as the evening sun says goodnight to the trees,

   Quietly as grasses bend before a rushing breeze,

Surely as the ocean waves advance to touch the shores,

   Silently as autumn leaves fall to the forest floor

So may the passing of the days heal loneliness and pain,

   Till nothing but warm memories of love and joy remain.

We can’t know why some things happen...

But we can know that love

and beautiful memories

outlast the pain of grief.

And we can know that there’s a place

inside the heart where love lives always.....

And where nothing beautiful can ever

be forgotten.

It has been said that a child who loses his parent is an orphan, a man who loses his wife is a widower, a woman who loses her husband is a widow. There is no name for a parent who loses a child, for there are no words to describe this pain.

REMEMBER
When you remember me, it means that you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart.
by Frederick Buechner, Whistling in the Dark
 

HEALING GRIEF

Breathe deep
Reach Out
Take Comfort
Find Courage
Tell your story
Feel real
Go inside
Keep patience
Breathe deep